Hello, and welcome to my world. My name is Kaitlyn, and I'm fifteen years old. Simply put, I'm a writer. Words surge through me with every beat of my heart. Writing is like oxygen to me, because without it, I cannot exist. Though I'm only a sophomore in high school and many would say I've still got my whole life before me, I've faced my share of trials. Yet with every issue I've endured, writing has been my outlet, the one tool that allows me to disconnect from the world for a short time and plug in to myself and my relationship with the Lord. Writing has been my constant confidant, a place where I can release a whirlwind of emotions and, at the same time, receive healing and progress into the next stage of life that my Heavenly Father has planned for me. I've created this blog more as a journal for myself, to straighten out my thoughts, document some "crazy exciting" milestones, and express the ups and downs of life. But ultimately, I hope that writing this blog will allow me to become more in-tuned with the thoughts of my Savior, Jesus Christ. With all of that said, I hope that God can somehow use me through this blog to express His unconditional love to someone else. I give Him the glory for all that I am and all that I will be.



"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISIPLINE. So you must never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord." (2 Timothy 1:7,8 New Century Version)

"God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters." -John Henry Jowett

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Book Review: Their Eyes Were Watching God

Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God is a poetic novel depicting one African-American woman’s tender tale of love and loss on her journey to human flourishing. Set against the backdrop of rural Florida during early the 1900s, the story follows Janie’s blossoming desire for love and purpose from her first kiss through three different marriages, finally concluding in widowhood. Janie undergoes a dynamic transformation from a naïve young girl full of innocent dreams to a stoic aging woman whose weathered face documents the triumph and tragedy she endured. As Janie strives to learn the art of flourishing, she specifically wrestles with establishing a balanced relationship with others, herself, and God. Throughout this process of discovery, Janie finally unearths her true identity due to the rich love of a man named Tea Cake.
            A central theme of the novel is the human need for prospering, uplifting relationships. In chapter two, Janie is awakened to this longing for connectedness when she observes a bumblebee pollinating a pear tree in her yard. After witnessing the harmonious, dependent bond between the bee and its flower, Janie too longs to experience this same intimacy with another human being. This desire never escapes Janie’s heart as she enters womanhood. Janie first marries Logan Killicks upon her grandmother’s insistence. Sadly, Logan is a lazy man who thrives off of ordering Janie around, never satisfied with the amount of work she does. He incessantly hurls insults a Janie and suppresses her growth, even though Janie wants to learn how to love Logan despite his selfish behavior.
The marriage ends abruptly in chapter four when Janie meets Joe Starks, a suave man with high ambitions and lofty promises. They run away together, marry, and move to Eatonville, where Joe raises up a town and becomes the mayor. Even though Janie sits in a position of prominence as mayor’s wife, her voice is muffled due to Joe’s obsessive desire for unmitigated control. He dictates what Janie should and should not do, insisting that she hide her beautiful hair in a headscarf and remain in her proper, respectable place at all times. Janie admits that, “she got nothing from Jody except what money could buy, and she was giving away what she didn’t value” (pg. 76). She is stripped of her freedom and suffocated by Joe’s unreasonable demands. She gradually withers under his oppressive hand.
When Joe dies from illness, Janie rests contentedly in her reclaimed freedom and independence. Though Janie is relentlessly surrounded by townspeople criticizing the brevity of her grief over Joe’s death, she clings to her newfound courage, looks beyond other’s expectations, and finally begins to follow the desires of her heart. Not long after Joe’s passing, a quick-witted younger man named “Tea Cake” with smiling eyes and a playful grin sweeps Janie off her feet. Tea Cake is far beneath Janie in social status, yet his passionate love and spontaneous nature make up for his lacking wealth. Unlike Janie’s past husbands, Tea Cake encourages Janie to speak her mind and includes her in activities typically deemed unfit for a woman, such as fishing, shooting, and playing checkers. For the first time, Janie feels desired, respected, and fully human.
Beginning in chapter ten, Tea Cake’s behavior is contrasted drastically with the behavior of both Logan and Joe. While Joe demands that Janie hide her hair because he greedily wants to hoard its beauty to himself, Tea Cake lavishes Janie in compliments and longs for her to see her own exquisite features. While Janie’s past husbands treated her like child by demanding submission and insulting her intelligence, Tea Cake evokes a child-like, carefree spirit within Janie. In chapters fourteen and twenty, Tea Cake is symbolically connected to seeds and prospering plants. He is the fertile soil in which Janie plants her roots, blossoming and flourishing in his presence. Janie summarizes her journey to a flourishing existence with these simple, yet poignant words of advice: “Two things everybody’s got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin’ fuh theyselves” (pg. 192).


My Worldview

            My worldview is the unique lens through which I view the entirety of life. It is shaped by my experiences, environment, relationships, and desires. Though my filtering “lens” is completely exclusive to me, it has been influenced by the worldviews of many others. For example, from birth until my teenage years, my parents’ worldviews largely shaped my own. However, more recently, I have begun to broaden my lens and evaluate the worldviews of people different from myself, choosing to either reject their beliefs or integrate them into my own. Throughout this process of defining my worldview, I have been especially captivated by the theories of philosophers such as Thomas Aquinas, John Locke, Soren Kierkegaard, and of course, Jesus Christ, the Great Philosopher.
            My belief in God and faith in Jesus is the primary factor that shapes every other aspect of my worldview, mainly because following Christ wholeheartedly determines the purpose of existence itself. The motivation behind every action and thought I have can be traced back to my commitment to living under God’s authority. The Bible is literally the spoken word of God to His people of exactly how they should live in accordance to His will. Yet, God knows His people are sinful by nature and incapable of perfectly abiding by His commandments. For this reason, He sent His son Jesus to be the mediator and fulfill the punishment of sin we deserve so we may be reunited in an intimate relationship with our Creator and no longer burdened by the law.
Thomas Aquinas shared a similar philosophy about the power and nature of God. Aquinas claimed that God is simple, perfect, infinite, immutable, and complete in nature. He also claimed that the existence of God was fairly rational, stated in his five proofs: motion, causation, existence of the necessary and unnecessary, gradation, and order tendencies of nature. Personally, I find it difficult to deny the existence of a God when I observe the complexity and intentionality of creation. Therefore, I am thankful for Aquinas’s boldness in synthesizing faith and reason because these two concepts are often unnecessarily separated in today’s culture.
Politically, I agree strongly with John Locke’s philosophy, which states all men have certain natural rights and men should work to earn their property. I am grateful that Locke’s theory on natural rights was built into the foundation of America; however, these principles of equality and ownership are still often abused. Natural rights are a biblical principle in the sense that God created all people equally in His image. In an ideal society, all genders, ethnicities, and nationalities would be treated with equal respect and opportunity. Also, Locke’s ideas on the importance of work for an individual to earn his own property have been slowly disappearing from American culture due to the faulty welfare system. The American government’s primary focus is no longer protecting the citizen’s rightfully earned property, but rather supplying the unemployed with free provisions. In this vicious cycle, the unemployed see no reason to look for a job while the government continues to provide for their necessities and the Americans who are employed are being taxed egregiously to fund this welfare system. Locke’s original theory of individual hard work leading to property ownership should be reinstated in America.

Morally, I am in agreement with Kierkegaard’s three stages of human existence—the aesthetic stage, ethical stage, and religious stage. A great majority of people spends their lives in the aesthetic stage, pursuing constant fulfillment of their fleshly desires without much regard to the wellbeing of others. In the ethical stage, a person becomes more aware of what is inevitably right and wrong and strives to live according to their morals. A small handful of people reach the religious stage, where they know God intimately and dedicate their entire existence to pursuing and obeying Him. It is a relentless feeling of dissatisfaction called existential angst that drives people to move from one stage to the other until they have finally reached the religious stage and found true contentment in Christ. Daily, I see individuals who live and find purpose according to which stage they are currently in. Those who are not in the religious stage are endlessly unhappy and unfulfilled because they have not yet discovered the perfect peace and provision which comes from knowing Christ alone.

Delightful Discipline Devotion

Proverbs 3:12; Hebrews 12:6                                                                                    

THOUGHT OF THE DAY: “For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:12 (NLT)


            In child psychology, the authoritative parenting style is known as the most beneficial method to raising healthy, confident children. An authoritative parent exhibits the perfect balance of compassion and control. They view discipline as simply another opportunity to help their children grow. Clear communication is crucial. The parents attentively listen to their children and sympathize with them, yet affirmatively state the rules and consequences. They hold high expectations for their children, yet constantly support and encourage them in their journey toward success. They are always available to help their children when needed, but acknowledge that sometimes children must struggle through a difficult situation on their own in order grow. Above all, authoritative parents are more concerned about their child’s overall wellbeing in the future than the momentary disappointments of the present.

PRAYER: Father, You are the ultimate authoritative parent. Your love is perfect, unconditional, and endless. You never allow pain without a divine purpose behind it. Sometimes, I won’t understand why You seem distant and unresponsive to my prayers. Yet, my future is laid open before you. In every way, You are working for my supreme good and Your eternal glory (Romans 8:28). Amen.           

Stuck Devotion

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Galatians 6:1                                                                                                  Stuck

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble…Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,12 (NCV)

            Last winter, I hit a patch of ice while driving on a winding country road, plowing my Chevy impala into a snow-covered cornfield. I shifted the car gears, pressing heavily on the gas, hoping to gain enough traction to maneuver it back onto the pavement. Ironically, the more tactics I tried to remove the car on my own, the further I lodged the tires in the snow. I finally surrendered my pride and called my dad to pull me out. When he arrived with his SUV, we hooked a cable from my car to his and began to rev the engines, creating a rather humorous scene of flying cornhusks and brown slush. It wasn’t long before we realized, in the process of attempting to drag my car out of the ditch, we also managed to bury the SUV’s tires a foot deep into the mud-packed snow. At this point, both vehicles were stuck in the cornfield accompanied by two embarrassed and distraught drivers. Thankfully, a large suburban with industrial tires rounded the curve and immediately stopped at the sight of our predicament. The kindhearted driver hooked another cable from my dad’s SUV to his suburban and effortlessly removed both of the vehicles in a matter of seconds.
Though this experience was undeniably comical, it also illustrated a significant element of Christianity: accountability. When a person attempts to pull themselves out of sin alone, they often spiral deeper into it. If another person offers a helping hand, but they are not firmly connected to God, they too will fall into sin. It is only when God works through His people to rescue another from sin that our spiritual tires will regain traction and we will be back on the road of righteousness again.

PRAYER: Father, give me Your Spirit of discernment to recognize when a fellow believer is trapped in sin. Work in me and through me to help them fight against the Enemy. Alone, I am powerless. In You, I am powerful. Amen.

Unshakable Devotion


1 Samuel 2:1-10                                                                                                                 Unshakable

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “There is no one holy like the Lord. There is no God but you; there is no Rock like our God.” 1 Samuel 2:2 (NCV)

            On November 8th, 2013, Typhoon Haiyan slammed into the Philippine islands, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction in one of the largest storms in history. More than 500,000 Filipinos were left without homes as the typhoon’s ruthless hand leveled everything for miles. Miraculously, an immense white statue of Jesus Christ with His hands outstretched remained intact in the costal town of Tanauan. The majestic ivory figure, rising boldly to the sky, stood dramatically against the colorless debris scattered around it. Despite the 225 mph winds that ripped through the islands, the statue of Christ remained immovable—a symbol of hope in the midst of despair. God promises that His unchanging presence will never leave us. Even when storms of hardship come crashing through our lives and hope seems lost, His love and power will remain unshakable. He will remain the solid rock on which we stand.
PRAYER: Lord, remind me constantly of Your unchanging nature. You are the same yesterday, today, and forever. When my life seems out of control, turn my eyes to your serene face and fill me with the power and peace of Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

Coffee Shop

Opening the door, the robust aroma flows into your nose, the enveloping warmth pours from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
Closing your eyes, deep breath in, a smile rivaling the golden glow of the autumn sun beams from your face.
A few steps inside, absorbing the spices and notes roaming suavely throughout the room.
A chestnut leather chair opens its arms to receiving your embrace. Its accompanying rustic end table provides an august podium to showcase your customized blend of beans, sugar, and cream.
Smooth music sneaks surreptitiously in every cozy corner.
 Cupping the tantalizing brew in your hands, its warmth permeates your skin, slowly soothingly every rigid corner of your frame.
Your eyes absorb the mellow meanderings of each unnamed member of this variegated community.
A young scholar with kinky russet hair and charcoal glasses stoops over a novel, her own unique brew steaming fearlessly in a nearby mug.
A wrinkly man crowned with wisps of silvery hair reclines statuesque behind the daily newspaper, his companion a timeless cup of black joe.
An enamored couple seeped in hushed conversation, their smoldering gazes matching their boiling beverages in hand.
All of these diverse faces, each hiding unique stories and unspoken passions, find themselves acquaintances at this common place.
A solace, a haven, a quiet escape.
A coffee shop.



Spirituality in Childhood

Christian belief has been a foundational aspect of my life since the moment I was born. My family went to church together each week, rarely missing a Sunday service. In fact, the first Sunday after I was born, my parents placed me in the Windsor Road Christian Church nursery, and I have grown up in the congregation ever since. My earliest recollections of faith are memories of sitting in Sunday school, listening to Bible stories, memorizing verses, and completing a coloring page to take home and put on the refrigerator. At the age of three, I began preschool at Judah Christian School. My endearing preschool teachers taught the young, eager pupils how to pray, be kind to one another, obey their parents, and read the Bible.
At home, my parents, John and Kim, have always cultivated a stable environment built on Christian values and abounding with God’s love. I am overwhelmingly blessed to have been raised in a place where I am unconditionally loved and constantly encouraged to pursue my dreams. The peace of God rules over our household. I cannot remember even once when my parents argued with each other. They have always spoken words of love and affirmation and calmed family disputes with gentleness and wisdom. As a family, we combated conflict with prayer and praise. Even when we endured intense trials, they only strengthened and increased our family’s unity. The deep roots of faith planted by my parents at the beginning of their marriage kept us grounded even in life’s most severe storms.
I have been surrounded by a Christian worldview in nearly every area of life from an early age. Believing in God and knowing that Jesus is my savior has been second nature to me. These ideas were simply woven into the fabric of my being. However, only through trials did my faith become more than simply another daily ritual. During hardships, when I was forced to cling to my faith to survive, I was able to test its validity and realize its necessity in my life. Though my faith is what gave me hope and courage to persevere through turmoil, it also became a overflowing wellspring of joy in times of peace and rest. It is when my belief in God was put in the furnace of affliction and refined by fire that I developed a personal relationship with Jesus separate from my parent’s faith. My journey with Christ has traveled along many treacherous, unforgiving paths during my lifetime, yet it has also brought me to awakening mountaintop experiences of boundless joy. Most incredibly, my journey with Christ has brought me to Taylor University, a place filled with other young believers whose hearts are ignited with passion for Jesus. I am thrilled to see how God will use my past as training for His future purposes for me at Taylor and beyond.
The intimate relationship I hold with my Creator today would not be possible without periods of intense affliction in my past. At eight years old, I was forced to question God’s existence for the first time when my 19-year-old brother passed away in a tragic canoeing accident. I was overwhelmed with feelings of fear and confusion as my innocent heart cried out to God, “Why did you have to take my big brother away from me?” As I observed my family grieve over my brother’s death, I felt utterly alone and misunderstood. I chose to rely solely on God for all strength and comfort, because I knew my parents were not capable of offering me the emotional support I desperately needed at that time. God used my small leap of faith to reveal Himself to me in astounding ways. I could no longer doubt the presence of God, because His presence was often more real to me than my physical surroundings during this time of tragedy.
Another tremendous time of growth in my faith occurred during my freshman year of high school when I battled a serious eating disorder. The new responsibilities of high school, along the added pressure of my excessive perfectionism, resulted in me feeling as though I could never be good enough, no matter how hard I tried. To regain some sense of stability, I looked to food as one area of life I could always control. It did not take long, however, before I realized that the food was really controlling me. My health rapidly declined as I lost nearly 30 pounds in less than six months and could not seem to end the vicious cycle. I did not want anyone to know the aggressive addiction I battled, so I isolated myself from others and was often tormented by my own thoughts. As I cried out to God to rescue me from this disease, He drew me closer into His arms than ever before. As I listened to His gentle whisper of comfort and guidance, I realized that the consuming thoughts of worthlessness were lies planted in my mind by Satan himself. He was using the eating disorder as his weapon to seize my health, steal my joy, and destroy my faith.
It was during this season of immense loneliness, suffering, and darkness that I could most clearly sense the spiritual warfare occurring all around me. As I succumbed physically to the eating disorder, I struggled to free my spirit from Satan’s control without avail. It was only when I made the terrifying choice to surrender myself to God and remain completely still that He was finally able to free my spirit from the devil’s iron grip. Moments before yielding to Satan’s lies, God rescued me from the brink of death. It was only by His triumphant grace, and the overwhelming support of my friends and family, that I was able to completely overcome the eating disorder and regain a healthy lifestyle. This trial again drew me closer to God’s heart and reinforced my faith in His power. I am now unceasingly aware of the devil’s presence and equipped to recognize his evil schemes and destroy them with God’s truth before they can overtake me. Today, I praise God for blessing me with these periods of heartache, fear, and loss. Without these tribulations, I am assured that my faith in God would not be as strong as it is today. The darkness of my trials has only exemplified God’s magnificent light.