Hello, and welcome to my world. My name is Kaitlyn, and I'm fifteen years old. Simply put, I'm a writer. Words surge through me with every beat of my heart. Writing is like oxygen to me, because without it, I cannot exist. Though I'm only a sophomore in high school and many would say I've still got my whole life before me, I've faced my share of trials. Yet with every issue I've endured, writing has been my outlet, the one tool that allows me to disconnect from the world for a short time and plug in to myself and my relationship with the Lord. Writing has been my constant confidant, a place where I can release a whirlwind of emotions and, at the same time, receive healing and progress into the next stage of life that my Heavenly Father has planned for me. I've created this blog more as a journal for myself, to straighten out my thoughts, document some "crazy exciting" milestones, and express the ups and downs of life. But ultimately, I hope that writing this blog will allow me to become more in-tuned with the thoughts of my Savior, Jesus Christ. With all of that said, I hope that God can somehow use me through this blog to express His unconditional love to someone else. I give Him the glory for all that I am and all that I will be.



"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISIPLINE. So you must never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord." (2 Timothy 1:7,8 New Century Version)

"God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters." -John Henry Jowett

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Adventures in Israel (J-term 2014)

JUC Impression #1
My experience in Jerusalem thus far has been an adventure filled with pleasant surprises, eye-opening encounters, and abundant opportunities to absorb new information—far exceeding all of my expectations. Already the Bible stories I have read for so many years are jumping off of the pages as I explore the ancient city with all of my senses. Embodying the customs and cultures of the Israeli people has been so enriching for my journey with Christ as well as my journey in discovering the person God has created me to be.
            One particular point addressed in Vernon’s lectures today was how each period of Jerusalem’s history has literally been constructed on top of the previous era. Therefore, each new age of history has been influenced significantly by the past, providing its very foundation for growth and prosperity. I realized how this principle of reusing the old holy places to create new ones relates to human nature. Who I am today has been immensely influenced by my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents before me. Their decisions, specifically their choice to follow Jesus Christ and accept Him as Savior, have shaped my worldview possibly more than any other individual factor. Just as an Israeli son historically builds his home on top of his father’s house, I have built my beliefs about religion, politics, society, and myself upon the foundations of my parents’ viewpoints. Though my perspective on certain issues sometimes differs from that of my family, I still recognize the remarkable impression their lifestyle has made upon my individual character. I experienced a renewed gratefulness for my family’s faithfulness to Christianity throughout the generations, because without it, I most likely would not be studying God’s Word in Israel today.
            Looking ahead to the rest of the trip, I anxiously anticipate experiencing more revelations like the one I had on our journey through the old city today. My continuous prayer is that God would completely overwhelm me with His presence, and that I would encounter Him in a way I never have before.

JUC Impression #2

            Today’s journey into the city of David and through Hezekiah’s tunnel provided an overwhelming amount of new information, and I am currently in the process of absorbing and processing it all. This morning in class, Vern lectured about the reason God chose this area to be His people’s “promised land,” and the lesson stuck with me throughout the day. The limited resources and vulnerability of the land forced the Israelites to trust God completely for their provision and protection. God knew that what His people really needed was not material wealth and prosperity, but rather a genuine, dependent relationship with their Creator. There have been many seasons of spiritual drought in my life, when I wonder why God seems to be hiding His face or withholding His blessings from me. However, it is through these times of hardship that my faith and dependence on God has grown tremendously as He has placed me in a position where my only option is to trust in His promises.
            One of today’s most memorable moments was standing so close to the exact location where Solomon was declared king and possibly where David ruled in his palace. As we looked at various Bible passages and connected them with their physical locations in Jerusalem, the historical evidence providing validity to the Bible became more and more undeniable in my eyes. Gazing upon the Mount of Olives and Mount Zion from the City of David made the Psalms much less metaphorical in nature and much more realistic and literal. My eyes are exhausted from trying desperately to catch every detail of the walk today. I realize that must I allow the wealth of new information I received to digest and soak into my being, so that I may use these experiences to enrich my study of God’s Word from this point forward.
            Even though the history of Jerusalem is incredibly complex and I often struggle to understand its entirety, I cling gratefully to God’s promise that this city is my home—I belong here. Thanks to Christ’s sacrifice and forgiveness of my sins, I have been adopted into His family and, therefore, my story fits perfectly into place in Jerusalem’s rich history, just like David and Abraham before me. I am continuously awestruck by the grace and faithfulness of the God we serve.

JUC Impression #3

            God works in unexpected ways. This phrase has resounded in my mind throughout the experiences I encountered today. I was awestruck by witnessing firsthand the connections made from scriptures in the Bible to the physical locations where they took place, specifically at the Temple Mount and the Bethesda Pools. Knowing with absolute certainty that Jesus lived, moved, and breathed at those locations overwhelmed me with indescribable emotion. Now more than ever in my lifetime, I have accepted the reality that Jesus was a flesh-and-blood man yet still fully God, carrying out the prophesies in the Old Testament and ultimately dying on a cross to rescue me from sin. The Bible is not simply a historical collection of stories that happened long ago and far away. It is a current and relevant book filled with everlasting life and infallible truth. It has stood the test of time because of its validity and accuracy, only proven more clearly to me through my journey here in Israel.
            One of the most transformative moments for me today was sitting on the temple steps and hearing Vernon read Jesus’ words from Matthew 23. My eyes drank up the surroundings as I visualized what Jesus was likely referring to when he spoke to the crowds in Matthew, from the whitewashed tombs on the Mount of Olives (v. 27) to the hills surrounding Jerusalem like a hen surrounding her chicks (v. 37). Jesus’ humility is exemplified through the way he explained complex theological ideas in simple ways, relating it to everyday concepts the average Israelite could understand. It revealed the intimacy and connectedness God desires to have with His people. He longs to meet us where we are, not where we should be. Perhaps the largest impact this trip has made on me so far is offering me a better understanding of God’s character through intentional and rigorous study of His Word. The pages of my Bible are springing to life and I am blessed with a renewed exuberance to learn as much as I can about God’s Word.

JUC Impression #4

            At every site we visited today, my euphemized, Sunday school picture of various Bible stories was dispelled and replaced by a much more realistic depiction of the events, taken directly from the literal Hebrew translation of the Bible. I was faced with the disappointment of crushed expectations, yet I was grateful to be enlightened with the truth of scripture. From this point forward in my walk with the Lord, I will be in the continuous process of using the sights I have seen and the knowledge I have gained to reconstruct more accurate mental images of Biblical events.
            Arriving at the first century (second temple period) tombs today quickly crushed my picture book idea of Jesus’ tomb nestled in a quiet, lush hillside coated in grasses. Rather, the tombs were packed closely next to each other in a dry and rocky land, and each family’s tomb housed multiple bodies at once. Jesus was crucified under the identity of a criminal; therefore, he was offered no special treatment at burial. He would have been placed in a body-sized hole cut into the chalky cave wall just like any other commoner at the time, likely sharing the cave tomb with several other decomposing bodies.
            The nativity scene was another distorted Biblical image I possessed before this afternoon. Vernon explained that the literal Hebrew translation of Jesus’ birth reveals that Mary and Joseph did not stay at an inn, but a relative’s home. Most likely, Jesus was born in the summer months, because the shepherds were outside with their flocks of sheep at night. If He was born in the winter months, the temperature would most likely plummet too low at night for the shepherds to watch their sheep outside comfortably. Today’s Church of the Nativity and town of Bethlehem certainly disappointed me in appearance as well. I expected a quaint little village and a humble Christian church offering reverence to the Savior’s birth. Instead, I was welcomed into a modernized, tourist-driven town covered in trash and an elaborate Orthodox church viewed more as a museum than a place of worship. To add to the confusion, English Christmas music blaring from the loudspeakers in Bethlehem square competed simultaneously with the Islamic call to prayer, located only a few feet away. This paradox of expectation versus reality challenged my faith, yet also greatly enhanced my understanding of Jesus’ life in a way that will enrich my study of God’s Word for the rest of my lifetime.

JUC Impression #5

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” (1 Peter 5:6) This verse came to my mind as we remembered Jesus’ baptism at the Jordan River. God humbled Himself beyond all human comprehension to take the form of an ordinary man named Jesus. When Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist in the Jordan, He humbled Himself to the meekest point in order to fully relate to the people He came to save. “God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that God's righteousness would be produced in us.” (2 Corinthians 5:21) Jesus had no need to be baptized, yet He desired to walk beside His followers and be an example they could follow.
I realized the subtle symbolism of Jesus being baptized at the lowest place on earth and being crucified on a high place visible to everyone. Though Jesus’ death appeared to be His defeat, it was actually His greatest victory. He conquered death at Golgotha and was exalted to a high position at the right hand of God. This imagery vividly illustrates “the least will become great,” upside-down way of thinking in the Kingdom of Heaven. In my own life, I have discovered that at my points of greatest spiritual or physical weakness, God has revealed His power most brilliantly through me. In the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
From a geographical viewpoint, the most surprising aspect of the Benjamin field study was the drastic change of scenery and landscape in such a short distance. The wilderness was rocky and arid, with nothing but tan rolling hills as far as the eye could see. Yet, less than an hour drive away in Jericho and Gezer, the land was so lush with palm tress and other plants that the hills looked like a wavy green sea. Observing the variety of topography in Israel offered me a much clearer image of the scenery of ancient cities, setting the stage upon which countless Bible stories took place.

JUC Impression #6

            Vernon’s discussion of the importance of marriage and gender roles on the terraced hill today allowed me to view the context of the Bible’s stories in better clarity. I didn’t realize how crucial marriages were to acquiring resources and ultimately sustaining life in ancient times. Also, I was surprised that women were acknowledged at all for their contributions to maintaining a family, because I always assumed women were entirely degraded or viewed as unimportant in relation to the men. However, without the women rationing and preparing meals, educating children, and coordinating community events, Israelite society would’ve been incapable of functioning.
Today’s lecture prompted me to thank God for His creation of the family structure. Though no family is perfect, God designed the family structure to reflect His own complete and glorious image in the trinity. The father is the head of the household, guiding and providing for the family. The mother is the supporter and sustainer, loving and equipping her husband and children to prosper. The children are the pride and joy of the parents, possibly the greatest blessing God has ever given humanity. As a whole, this family structure is able to function efficiently and cohesively, possessing all necessary resources for survival. I am awed by God’s intricate signature in the most simple and often overlooked aspects of life.
I loved the lecture about David and Goliath as we sat on top of the hill and gazed into the Elah Valley. I had no idea the Bible contained such subtle symbolism relating the bronze Goliath to the pagan gods and the red David to Adam and therefore the image of God Himself. Also, hearing theories about why Goliath fell forward instead of backward when hit with the stone was fascinating. Small details like this are seemingly unimportant to the story as a whole, yet it reveals the depth and complexity of God’s character. God is far bigger than our human understanding could begin to comprehend, yet He gladly stoops down to be concerned with the frivolous details of our daily lives. God’s love contains no borders and His mercy knows no limits.

JUC Impression #7

Today, God reaffirmed His promise that claims He remains faithful even when His people are continuously unfaithful. In the first site we visited, Vernon pointed out the ruins of what used to be the town’s Holy of Holies. The two stone pillars seen inside this area evidenced that, although the Israelites worshipped Yahweh, they also probably worshipped other deities as well. This border town, which was frequently influenced by other cultures, began worshipping false gods because of the pressure to conform to society.
Modern day Christianity is no different. Though we may not erect stone pillars to represent the gods we worship, we nevertheless invest our time, energy, and dependence upon people and things other than our Father God. I constantly battle with placing my full trust in God to provide. Because I am so blessed to have everything I need and more, I rarely feel the need to surrender my all to the Lord and allow Him to be in total control. Yet, when I continue to rely on my own abilities, I enter into an endless cycle of loneliness and discontentment. Only when my heart rests entirely in God alone will I ever be wholly content and joyful. After seeing the two stone pillars revealing the unfaithfulness of God’s people in Abraham’s time, I was encouraged knowing the mercy God gave His followers then is the same mercy He continues to pour out upon me.
Another impression that pressed on my heart today was feeling so tiny and insignificant while hiking in the majestic, limitless canyon. I realized that my feelings of meekness in the valley do not even come close to the immense awe and wonder of standing in the presence of God. He created the canyon with its beautiful ridges and peaceful streams—and He created me. I am astounded by the love of my Heavenly Father, Who generously crafted me in His own image and allows me to experience His exquisite creation. I am also deeply humbled with the knowledge that the Maker of the sunset and the canyons desires to use me to carry out His divine plan for the world. I am broken and unworthy, tainted by the mistakes of my sinful nature. Yet, God’s perfect love removes my flaws, heals my wounds, and equips me with everything I need to serve in His kingdom. Glory to God, forever and ever!

JUC Impression #8

            “God, you are my God. I search for you. I thirst for you like someone in a dry, empty land where there is no water” (Psalm 63:1). I was able to visualize this psalm clearly and understand the intense emotion behind its words as I hiked on the rugged, dusty terrain of Masada and Qumran today. The sun was beating down on my back, my legs were wobbly and unstable from exhaustion, and I had no water left in my water bottle. I “felt” the Bible in my body, as Vernon has been encouraging us to do throughout the trip. Reading the psalms while sitting on a rock near David’s waterfall was a tranquil, soul-nourishing experience. I could’ve remained in that spot all day listening to the soothing rush of the waterfall and admiring God’s breathtaking creation.
            Each day, God has reminded me in some way or another that He indeed is the same God in ancient times as He is today. His faithful character is eternally unshakable. The way God interacted with Abraham, Moses, David, and Ruth is exactly how He desires to communicate with me. I am gradually learning that I alone have been hindering myself from a more intimate relationship with God. It is not that God is more distant in 2014 than He was in 1400 BC. Rather, my expectations of Who God is and how He should appear in my life has blinded me from seeing His true glory. Now that I have grasped this humbling realization, I am in the process of breaking down the barriers I have built to contain God and allowing Him to fully strip me of my pride. Only when my heart has been made entirely vulnerable in the presence of God can it then begin to rest and trust in His provision alone. “My grace is sufficient for you” is a promise that the Lord has been engraving upon my heart during my time here.
            On a less personal note, I loved the time spent at the Dead Sea. There is nothing like the sensation of floating when “there is nothing you can do about it.” J Also, I have never willingly covered myself with mud (and enjoyed it) until now! The warm sun, crystal blue waters, and sand between my toes only enhanced this unforgettable experience.

JUC Impression #9

            “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety” (Psalm 18:2). This Bible verse immediately came to mind as I reflected over today’s events. As we ventured into an area of intense political conflict, I began to understand the fear and oppression that persecuted Christians around the world experience daily. I knew that my safety and security was out of my control in the Shechem area. I had no choice but to pray to God for protection and fully trust that He was guarding me under the shadow of His wings. Never before have I been placed in a situation where my safety was in jeopardy because of my faith, and experiencing this uneasiness renewed my sympathy for persecuted Christians in every nation. I realized how much I take my freedom of faith for granted and was convicted of the necessity to pray for oppressed believers more diligently and consistently.
            After dinner tonight, several members of the group visited the Western Wall to pray. I loved the entire experience—from wearing the headscarf, to praising God at a place where prayers have been poured out for hundreds of years, to reflecting over the trip in the peaceful, moonlit environment. A prayer that resonated in my heart while at the wall was that the Israeli and Palestine people would have their blind eyes opened to the truth and hope offered through Jesus Christ. Several times throughout my time in Israel I have felt a very evident, oppressive darkness due to the spiritual warfare here. My heart has been burdened by the hopelessness and desperate need for redemption in this place, and the Lord has prompted me on many occasions to pray immediately for His lost children.
            Psalm 18:2 echoed in my heart again tonight when our group was exploring the city and panicked when we discovered that we had accidentally left Sammy behind at a grocery store a few minutes before. I was forced again to acknowledge that the situation was completely out of my control, but I had no other choice to place my full trust in God to protect Sammy and bring her back to JUC safely. I prayed wholeheartedly that God would station His guardian angels around Sammy and guide her back home. I was relieved beyond words when we found Sammy in one piece at JUC. The scope of today’s unsettling events reminded me of God’s power to protect and faithfulness in every circumstance. He is my eternal Rock and Refuge.

JUC Impression #10

            Today, we had the unique opportunity to view a large span of northern Israel due to all the time spent driving on the bus. As I looked out the window and took in the surrounding landscape, Vernon’s words from yesterday’s lecture echoed in my mind about the simplicity and commodity of the place where Jesus lived. The country of Israel is not a glamorous place. The majority of its inhabitants sustain a humble income through shepherding, farming, or running a shop—even to this day. However, it was not by chance that God chose this place to make a covenant with His people and send His Son to live and die. The natural geological construction of Israel lends itself to difficulty and challenges for its inhabitants. Israel’s limited resources and its location between multiple powerful, prosperous nations lead to endless conflict, hardship, and turmoil. Yet, Israel’s poor, dirty, oppressed, humble identity also provides the perfect backdrop for God’s glory to shine most brilliantly.
            The Roman city at Beit Shean was my favorite archaeological sight so far. Because so much of the city remained intact, I was able to visualize how the people actually lived during that time. Something that struck me as I strolled through the city was how religious practices appeared to be just another recreational activity for the Romans, such as going to the theater or the gymnasium. Generally, the Romans were wealthy, self-sufficient people who had all of their basic needs met. They were rarely dependent on outside sources for help or resources, because they had created a solitary, idealized society of their own within the city walls. Therefore, it was much less of a necessity for the Romans to plead to their gods for help than it was for the Israelites. I realized that the mentality of the Romans is very similar to the mentality of Americans today. Because the majority of Americans are blessed with an overabundance of resources, we rarely feel the need to ask for God’s help, thus rarely experiencing total dependence on Him. Often times, going to church is simply another activity in the week that we do to meet society’s view of a “good” lifestyle. It is possible to go to church every Sunday without ever acknowledging the presence of God or growing closer to Him. I felt convicted to reevaluate my intentions behind why I do what I do. Am I really longing to grow closer to my Savior by learning more about Him, or am I simply trying to live up to society’s expectations of a “good” person? Food for thought.

JUC Impression #11

            An issue addressed today when we visited Hazor was the mystery of God’s judgment upon His people, specifically when God called Joshua to annihilate entire towns, including children. How do we as Christians, claiming to believe in a God with consistent character, reconcile His wrath in the Old Testament with His anti-violence philosophy spoken through Jesus in the New Testament? This conflict in Christian theology has remained a stumbling block for Christians and nonbelievers for ages. Our feeble human minds cannot fathom the complexity of God’s perfect character, and our knowledge of Him is based almost entirely upon Biblical text. And, as we discussed at Hazor, Biblical text can be widely interpreted and even skewed to justify sinful actions, such as with genocides and mass violence done in the name of Christianity throughout history.
            An easy solution to the problem would be to write off this “inconsistency” in God’s character as a divine mystery that we will never be able to understand in this earthly life and cease further argumentation. However, many nonbelievers use God’s wrath against Him, saying God is cruel and unjust for allowing His people to suffer. I believe it is crucial for God’s children to seek Him wholeheartedly, especially in areas of faith that make us feel uncomfortable. By persevering in the pursuit of knowledge, God will equip us with the skills we need to defend our beliefs intellectually and courageously, even if we don’t possess or comprehend all of the “right” answers. The Lord has promised, “If you seek me, you will find me.” Our pursuit of God, no matter how full of doubts and questions, is never done in vain.
            On a completely different topic, while standing on Ben Tal overlooking Syria, I gained a much deeper appreciation for the blessing of freedom I possess as an American. I have unintentionally taken this privilege for granted as I have been raised “in the land of opportunity,” never knowing any differently. Yet, the immensity of my freedom became so much more apparent as I looked over a land functioning as a massive, violence-filled prison for everyone within its boundaries. Again, I was convicted to pray fervently for the Syrian people, especially the Christians, who are relentlessly threatened and persecuted without a means of escape. Once I return to America, I will live with much greater awareness and thankfulness for the freedom God has so graciously blessed me with.

JUC Impression #12

            God has been continuously reminding me this week that He is not found in the wind, the fire, or the earthquake; rather, He is found in the “gentle whisper” that echoes in my heart everywhere I go (1 Kings 19:9-18). I have been seeking intimacy with God in the physical locations where He spoke to His people in the Old Testament and where Jesus lived during His time on earth. I walked the Via Dolorosa, entered the church of the Nativity, stood in the Jordan River, and sailed on the Sea of Galilee. Yet, I left all of these locations without experiencing a supernatural sensation of nearness to God.
Surprisingly, I have been most overwhelmed by God’s presence in the small, uneventful moments of the day—during a meaningful conversation with someone on the bus, through a time of reflection before I fall asleep, or in the peaceful stillness of an unexpected minute by myself. It’s as if God is whispering over and over again, “I am here. I am in your heart. I am all around you. I love you.” My focus has shifted from the monumental places and sights we visit to the God Who made those sights monumental. Now I am more conscientious about being unceasingly aware of God’s presence every minute of my day, not only during church or another designated time of worship. Praise God that He is just as close to me in Upland, Indiana as He is in the Holy Land of Israel!
            A continuous theme of Vernon’s lectures has been how Jesus came to fulfill the Old Testament. I have loved learning about the specific ways Jesus embodied the prophesies in the Old Testament and enacted the culmination of the law (Torah). Before the trip, I looked at the Old and New Testaments as two nearly unrelated sections of the Bible, and I often neglected study of the Old Testament because I didn’t really think it would benefit my spiritual journey. This learning experience in Israel has totally redefined my viewpoint of the Bible. I now see the Old and New Testaments as intertwined and inseparable, each one tremendously enhancing the other. For the rest of my life, my study of the Bible will be so much more enriching and rewarding thanks to the rigorous excavation of the Old Testament our group has done throughout the last three weeks.

JUC Impression #13

Hiking down the Cliffs of Arbel today reminded me of the importance of encouraging other believers along our spiritual journeys. As the group moved cautiously down the mountain, those in the lead would shout warnings and helpful tips back to those behind them when they would encounter obstacles in order to guide each other safely along the trail.  Hearing calls such as, “Careful! The rocks are slippery here!” or “Place your foot here and hold on to this rock,” made the descent down the sleep slope a smooth, enjoyable process. If I would’ve tried to scale the cliff on my own, I would’ve been much more fearful and discouraged, not knowing what to expect on the trail ahead. I was reliant on those who had already braved the path and conquered the obstacles to direct me with words of wisdom.
In the same way, I depend on the wisdom of mature believers in Christ who are farther along on the path of righteousness to “call back” to me words of encouragement and guidance. Elder Christians have already endured hardships and know the best strategies to remain focused on God when the path of life becomes rocky. These people also keep me accountable, making sure that I remain on the straight and narrow road instead of wandering off to the slippery slopes of sin. God strategically places people in my life who have experienced challenges similar to my own and who can offer a supportive hand and a keen eye when I lose track of the right path.
Additionally, God allows me to cross paths with other believers who are not as far along on their spiritual journey to uplift and counsel. I must remain aware of these “divine appointments” and take the opportunity to both teach and learn from fellow Christians. The body of Christ is one of the greatest blessings God has given His children. When the different parts of the body work together to live honestly and serve effectively, His name is glorified throughout the earth. I am beyond grateful to have met and fellowshipped with so many other believers of various ages, backgrounds, and worldviews on this trip. Overall, my class experience and spiritual journey has been enriched due to the generous kindness and wisdom my elders have poured out upon me over the last three weeks. I praise God for allowing me to walk alongside such a unique, funny, wise, unforgettable group of individuals on this portion of my spiritual journey. I look forward to being reunited in heaven someday, if not again on earth. Shalom, Israel!

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