Words can not sufficiently express the grief my family and I have experienced through loosing such a precious member of our family. But, I believe that by releasing some of the many memories of Brent treasured within our hearts, we will be able to make a tremendous leap in the healing process. This struggle had also taught me many lessons, one of which is the importance of reaching out to others who are grieving. One way that I personally have been able to do this is by sharing my journey of loss and offering support and encouragement to others who carry the same burden. My greatest hope is that Brent’s life will continue to bring joy and inspiration to those who are discouraged and spread the hope that there is life beyond physical death.
Brent was more than a brother to me; he was also my best friend and my greatest role model. We were born ten years apart, yet the age difference was never a barrier. From the very day I was born, Brent was proud to be a big brother, calling me his “my little buddy.” Throughout the years, we could always be found engaged in some sort of activity together, from going on hikes through the woods behind our house to watching my favorite Disney movie 101 Dalmatians, possibly 101 times. Brent’s friends would often come over to our home to drive around our old golf cart or go fishing at a nearby pond. However, Brent would never brush me aside like many older brothers might do when their friends arrived. Instead, he and his friends would eagerly persuade me to join them in their adventures. I gladly tagged along and loved getting to spend time with my brother.
Brent was an avid wrestler throughout his junior high and high school years at Mahomet-Seymour High School in Mahomet, Illinois. Our family spent many hours in numerous gyms cheering on Brent as he competed with his opponents. I practically grew up in the bleachers and watching my brother wrestle became second nature to me. Brent’s character exuded determination, perseverance, ambition, courage, and self-control. He constantly strove to do his best and pushed himself to improve whenever possible. This character resulted in outstanding accomplishments within every area of his life, including wrestling. Brent placed fourth in sectionals his freshman and sophomore years of high school, barely missing the qualification of third place required to go to state. However, with much hard work and motivation, he advanced on to state his junior and senior years. Also, his persistence resulted in him never missing a single practice or match throughout his entire wrestling career. As a result, he earned the Iron Man award all four years, which set a record that cannot be surpassed.
Brent was a natural-born leader, and the drive that propelled him to achieve his goals also pushed others to accomplish theirs. Though his skill may have appeared threatening to the younger or less-experienced wrestlers, he was incredibly humble and never boasted of his success. Because of this quiet leadership, Brent was chosen as a captain of the wrestling team his senior year.
In many ways, Brent was a superlative athlete. Yet, he never let his demanding wrestling schedule interfere with spending time with his family, attending church activities, or maintaining the high academic standards he set for himself. He graduated from Mahomet-Seymour High School with honors. I am amazed with the amount of self-control and discipline Brent possessed. He managed to be so successful with school and sports, but he never passed up an opportunity to spend time with our family. Often, he would help me with my homework or guide me through a computer game, enthusiastically finding ways to spend time with his “little buddy.” Countless memories remain from those simple moments spent together and reflecting on them continuously brings me joy.
Brent was involved in Boy Scouts since he was five years old and achieved the highest rank of Eagle Scout at the age of seventeen. As a final requirement to achieve this ranking, Brent had to create a project that would benefit the community in some way. Brent chose to construct an awards podium for the various athletic events that take place at the Mahomet-Seymour gymnasium. He noticed that whenever medals were given at the conclusion of a wrestling match, there was no way of presenting the award in a professional ceremony. To this day, Brent’s completed podium is used after many sporting events at the high school, and it stands as a symbol of the lasting legacy he has left behind.
After Brent graduated from Mahomet-Seymour in 2003, he enrolled in Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois, to pursue a business career. He became involved in a number of events during his freshman year, including using the knowledge he had gained from his wrestling career to instruct other college students in lifting weights and exercising at a campus gym. He exhibited his servant’s heart by volunteering to work on Habitat for Humanity projects. Brent also joined a fraternity at SIU and became active in the various programs it offered. He took up the role of treasurer, the only position available to freshman fraternity members, and later became co-captain of a fundraising performance conducted by his fraternity and a partnering sorority.
Brent’s freshman year of college progressed smoothly, and he enjoyed experiencing all that college had to offer. One weekend, he participated in a camping trip with other members of his fraternity (where?). They decided to go canoeing late that night, and by circumstances still unknown to us, Brent’s canoe tipped. Kyle, the other young man riding in Brent’s canoe, had never been canoeing before; yet, Brent was extremely familiar with canoeing from all of his Boy Scout experiences. He used his knowledge to try numerous times to turn the canoe back over, but the strenuous task eventually fatigued him beyond his limits. In one last effort of survival, Brent and Kyle decided to start swimming towards shore. Brent had been swimming ahead of Kyle, encouraging him with the words, “Come on Kyle. You can make it. You can make it.” Because of his selfless character, Brent was more concerned about the life of his fellow fraternity member than he was with his own. We are still unaware of the complete details that occurred during the last struggle towards shore. However, Kyle survived and Brent did not. Other fraternity members have refused to release vital details about the accident. Thus, the final hours of my brother’s life remain a mystery. We received the news that Brent was missing on Sunday morning, April 4th, 2004, and his body was found five days later. After scouring the bottom of the lake with divers and search dogs, his body was finally found, only thirty yards from shore.
Brent’s flourishing life came to an abrupt close as a result of this heartbreaking incident. From when we received the call that Brent was missing until they confirmed his death five days later, our family remained in excruciating anxiety. The proceeding months after we accepted this shocking reality were a hazy blur. My mother, father, sister, and I all dealt with the tragedy in extremely different ways, gradually releasing our sorrowful emotions over year’s time. Though each of us has undergone an individual recovery, we also found it absolutely crucial to bond together more than ever before. We rely on each other for support, encouragement, and hope to press on. Even though it has been almost six year since the devastating news of Brent’s death, I still vividly remember that Sunday morning like it was yesterday. I know that the hole in my heart once filled by my brother’s love will never be completely mended, yet I have found healing in so many ways. As I continue moving forward with each new step of my life, I will take the lasting memory of my brother with me wherever I go. The love that I have for him will never change or fade away. Brent was a faithful believer in God, accepting Christ as his Savior at a young age. Therefore, I cling to the hope that I will see my brother again someday, waiting patiently for me at the heavenly gates. Until that day, I will keep sharing the memories of Brent with the world and watch his legacy of enduring leadership spread beyond the limits of his life on earth.
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